Class Reunion

I am travelling all of next week, which means I may not be able to update. Hang on in there and things will be back to normal by next Saturday. So the story for this week:

Author unknown.

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Class Reunion

This is a true story from my ten year class reunion.

At my ten-year class reunion there was girl there that had undergone quite a transformation. Let's call her Jill. In high school Jill was shy and mousy, not unattractive but not glamorous in anyway. What a difference 10 years makes.  At the reunion Jill shows up wearing a very tight green velvet above the knee dress with halter style top. Halter style in that the straps that go over her shoulders tie to each other around her neck instead of connecting to the bodice. Around her neck, the dress is basically a green velvet collar with a hook at the back to which are connected ten or so strings of beads which connect at the other end to the front of the dress just above her bust line to hold it up. There is no cleavage visible as the velvet material of the dress is cut strait across her armpits and tapered, darted and shaped to fit her C cup breasts perfectly.  The tight bodice zips up the side under her right arm, and in the back it drops down a bit to expose quite a bit of Jill's back.
Jill looks quite the hottie, with her newly blonde hair, hip glasses and 3-inch pumps. She apparently had a very good job and bragged about it and her BMW. She flirts heavily all-night, hanging on many husbands, (yes she's still single) much to chagrin of many of the wives.
At the end of the night Jill's had a bit to drink and is probably not moving as smoothly as she could be. The crowed on the floor has formed one big circle and people are taking turns jumping into the middle to perform solo dance moves for a cheering crowed.   Jill is standing in the circle in front of us dancing in place sexily, as a few of us are sitting it out. I'm bull shitting with a female friend from school, let's call her Rachel. Rachel I notice is watching Jill shake her stuff with a bit of a disapproving look on her face. She wants to make a disparaging comment but doesn't want to seem petty. At that moment, Jill scratches under her right arm while she's dancing and must have hit her zipper, because in the blink of an eye her dress un-zips itself to her hip! Jill looks like she feels something but isn't sure what it is, so she lifts up her right arm and bends her head down to her right to look at the side of her dress.  With the zip undone, this move causes her halter style top of her dress to become loose and bow out away from her body, causing Jill's right foam rubber falsie to dislodge and slide down the front of her dress to her waste. In a panic, she leans forward and reaches her right arm in to grab it. This move creates enough of a gap between her rib cage and her top, that her left falsie follows suit, and now both of her fake breasts are at her waist inside her dress. She can't reach her left arm in because that side of the dress isn't open so she kind of freezes momentarily and tries to figure out what to do.
I look back at Rachel and she is trying to hide her laughter behind a glass of water, still not trying to be petty, so I start in, "gee, It looks like Jill's lost something" I say. To which Rachel comes out from behind her glass of water and says, "I think she lost both of them!"
Jill finally decides to fold her arms over her stomach to hold everything where it is and scurry off to the ladies room. A few girls dancing next to her made some comments that I couldn't hear (darn!), and Jill turned and gave them a nasty look.
When the affair is over, some of the crowed moved to a bar down the street where they are singing Karaoke, and Jill shows up! (What a trooper). She has obviously removed her falsies because the top of her dress is loose across her bust, but she must figure that the dress is shaped, and stiff enough to maintain some of the silhouette she sported for most of the evening, and she'll just play the "I'm not wearing falsies" denial game. While Jill is up sing with a group of others (Partridge Family I believe), I'm left in the booth with my ex. I explain to her what Rachel and I, and a few other saw. I said "...but it looks like she took 'em off " to which my wife replied "yeah and I know where she put 'em", as she nods her head toward the booth across from us. At the far end is an over stuffed hand bag with a hairbrush, part of a compact, and a set of BMW car keys sticking out of the top. It was clear that Jill had stuffed the Pads in her handbag, leaving little room for everything else.
What did we do…Nothing! Except have a nice giggle.

Here's what I would have liked to do though…..


Some of the wives sneak Jill's handbag out of the booth and go out to the parking lot where they proceed to move her BMW right in front of the door to the bar, then they take Jill's falsies and tie them together with something and hang them over her rearview mirror like fuzzy dice, then return the handbag where they found it. When Jill found her handbag, she would know something was wrong right away, she'd get nervous but as the night wore on and nothing happened she would think someone stole them so she wouldn't have them anymore. The joke would be on them, Jill would think, since she already made the decision to not wear them anymore tonight, and Monday morning she would simply wear one of the many other pairs of falsies that were stuffed into the top drawer of her lingerie chest in her bedroom. Of course at the end of the night the girls all make sure the whole crowed leaves together, only to walk outside and ask "hay Jill is that your BMW?" "No I parked mine over there", pointing elsewhere as she pushes the key fob button causing the doors to unlock and the interior light to come on!  Jill's jaw drops as she, and everyone else sees her falsies dangling in the window. "…Are you sure Jill, I don't see any others" one of the wives adds. Frustrated Jill gets in the car and pulls the falsies off the mirror, starts the car and zooms away.