This story will kick off a "John Knuckles Appreciation Series" that will run through to next month. I will try to put up 1 story every week.
To those who don't know, I don't normally publish all of an author's works but try to drive traffic back to his page. John has been missing for over a year and his profile page at Writing.com has taken down. Because of these factors I've decided to put everything on here to try and perpetuate his writing.
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A boy's cousin visits him... and to his delight, utterly humiliates his bitchy neighbor
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I'm about to tell you a story that you WILL NOT believe! I barely believe it myself - and I was there! Swear to Jesus, as long as I live, I'll never forget it. I mean, jeez, it's the kind of memory that gets tattooed in your brain forever:
I was a lowly, pimply-faced freshman in high school when my parents moved us to a new town.
I hated it. Instantly.
The worst part wasn't leaving all my friends behind. Truth is, I never had many friends. Never needed many friends.
The worst part was my CUNT of a brand-new next door neighbor. She looked like a goddess but had the personality of a garbage man. Classic rose/thorns situation, right? That song Bret Michaels used to sing about? You know what I mean?
Samantha Smith.
She was a good-looking lady, I'll give you that. Hot. Smoking hot. I mean, jeez, she was BEAUTIFUL. Not in a slutty way either. Like a princess.
But she was still a bitchy cunt.
I'm guessing she was in her early 30s. Her face was angelic - a work of art. I think her mom was Asian and her dad was Swedish - some crazy combination like that. Even though I quickly learned to HATE HER GUTS, that didn't mean I wasn't aware how beautiful she was.
How could you not?
She had the dark hair, slender frame and petite features of an Asian, but her eyes were fuller and her face more Nordic. Her mixed ancestry gave her skin a perpetually radiant glow. Miss Smith had a juicy round ass that shook and swayed - even in conservative business pants. And when she wore something sexy... WOW!! She had the body to pull-off ANY look.
Her sense of style was amazing. The clothes she wore, the way she always styled her hair and decorated her face - if you didn't catch yourself... you would fall in love with her.
Especially if you stared too long at those perfect tits and gorgeous ass.
But I - I don't want to talk about that right now... I mean, jeez...
Okay?
Anyway, she's a total bitch. You could tell she's used to everyone kissing her butt and obeying her every whim. All of her mannerisms, even the disinterested way she'd turn her nose when she'd talk to you, communicated her over-developed sense of superiority. Like you're a worthless piece of shit, and she's a nugget of gold.
Miss Smith thought she was better than you - and she didn't give a FLYING FUCK if you knew it.
And if she got upset... oh my.
Because if anything - anything at all - would go even a TINY bit astray, she would scream and rant. How dare ANYONE inconvenience the great Samantha Smith!
My family moving next door to her was, well, a tiny bit astray, I guess.
The moment we moved in, we heard all about it: How the old neighbor was a quiet old lady - not a family with a dog and a "pervy little kid." How we better respect her privacy and follow the neighborhood sound ordinances. How that "despicable mutt" better not crap on her property. And so on.
It blew my mind that a woman this pure and beautiful-looking could be such a foul-mouthed cunt!
And of course, the moment we did ANYTHING wrong - park too far from the curb, let my dog go a lousy 20 seconds without his leash, accidentally sail a Frisbee on her roof - she would explode like the Death Star. Boom!!
Which happened ALL the time.
...and okay, yes, there was that ONE STUPID TIME when I tried to spy on her when she was changing. I - I don't know what came over me. God, that was embarrassing! When she caught me like that before she even got undressed... and told everyone about it... EVERYONE...
Like I said, I - I don't want to talk about it. Jeez...
I guess Miss Smith was rich. Wasn't sure what she did. She drove a red Porsche and wore new designer clothes every bloody day, so I guess she was loaded. She vacationed all over the globe: Hawaii, Puerto Rico, Tahiti, Cancun.
My family wasn't rich.
Not even close.
But we had each other. There were lots of us, and we all loved each other. Uncles, grandparents, nieces - we had 'em all.
We even had a cousin Clyde.
How do I describe Clyde?
He was - and believe me, I love the guy - an utterly oblivious buffoon. A walking disaster. A horrible mess of a human being. A Darwinian dead end.
He was also very nearsighted. But the damn fool was too proud for glasses.
Not that he had ANYTHING to be proud of. Top to bottom, six ways from Sunday, he was a half-blind moron. Take it from me, his brainpower matched his eyesight.
I once found him in the department store arguing with a mannequin.
And LOSING.
Anyway, my family didn't go to Hawaii on vacations. We spent time with each other. This year, it was my parents' turn to host.
30+ extra folks hanging around my house for a week! Samantha Smith was furious.
Boom!!
Like the Death Star.
My little cousin Jennifer stayed over, too. She was maybe 11 or 12... maybe younger. Cute kid with long brown hair and a nice tan. But the important part of the story is, I had let her walk my dog... and then an hour went by.
Jennifer hadn't returned.
"Son, why don't you and Clyde go look around the neighborhood for Jenny?" my Dad asked. But truthfully, I think he just wanted to get Clyde out of the house. Clyde had already broken two dishes, one iPad, the remote control and the downstairs toilet (don't ask... but it involved corn).
So Clyde and me are walking out the front door and we get to the end of the street. Clyde points at Samantha's house.
"Garsh!! Let's go ask the neighbor if she's seen Jenny," Clyde suggested.
Before I could object, he was banging on the front door.
"Oh God," I thought, "she'll call the cops for sure... or animal control... jeez..."
Samantha opened the door, glaring instantly.
"What do YOU want?!"
And then, turning to me, she pointed and glowered. "Keep that disgusting little perv away from me! You should be behind bars! To think I'd ever let a pimply little creep like you see me nude - ha!! In your DREAMS!"
Clyde stared at her blankly. Then he blurted: "Jenny? That you?"
Samantha had a confused look on her face. She was wearing a business suit, but it was cut in all the right places and she was sexy as hell. Even her tits looked perfect.
"Jenny? My name is Samantha Smith, you idiot."
Clyde wasn't convinced.
"Jenny!! Shame on you for breaking into the neighbor's house and puttin' on her nice clothes!"
Miss Smith looked at Clyde like he was shit for brains.
"Let me be clear, you slackjawed nimrod: My name is Samantha Smith, and you need to get your blind ass off my porch! Now!!"
"Nimrod? Ass?" exclaimed Clyde. "Jenny, that's HORRIBLE behavior! You're lucky I don't whoop your butt on the spot. Now take off the neighbor's clothes, get dressed, and let's find the dog!"
"Uh... Clyde?" I spoke up. "That's, uh, not Jenny."
A part of me kicked myself for interfering.
"Oh yeah? How can you be sure?" Clyde demanded.
"I don't know. Um..." And then I said the first thing that popped in my head: "S - see her chest? Jenny hasn't developed boobs yet."
"You nasty little perv!" Samantha yelled, putting her hands on her hips. "Don't you DARE talk about my body!" She gave me the stink-eye as she stood there, getting madder and madder in her pretty business suit. I swear, I could see the smoke rising out of her ears...
But Clyde simply laughed.
"Silly boy! Of course Jenny ain't got no boobies yet!"
And then - jeez, I still can't believe it - Cousin Clyde reached into Miss Smith's blouse and pulled out two silicon falsies!!
He really did it! He just reached in and yanked them out! Like it was no big deal!
"See? Jenny is playing dress-up! Har har! Can't believe you fell for it!"
Samantha gasped and clutched her chest with both arms. (Her blouse and bra were now obviously hanging much more loosely.)
I think I gasped too! Holy crap!! Miss Smith stuffed her bra...?!
"F - fuck you!" Samantha cried. She tried to shut the door.
Clyde blocked her and pushed his way in!
"I'm not gonna let you tresspass in the neighbor's house, Jenny! Shame on you!"
Not knowing what else to do, I followed them inside.
"Jenny! I'm losing my patience! Hurry up and get changed before the nice neighbor comes back!"
Samantha looked at me in desperation. "Tell him!! Tell him, you perv!! Tell him I'm not Jenny!!"
I don't know what came over me. But I replied, "Quit fooling around, Jenny. Get undressed!"
Her mouth dropped open. "You - you little prick!! You little PRICK!!! Fuck you!! Fuck you BOTH!!"
Clyde had heard enough. He grabbed Samantha, sat down on the chair - and flipped her over his knee! I mean, jeez!
Samantha was kicking her legs so hard, her high heels flew off. Swear to Jesus, one of them nearly nailed me in the nuts! Her little hands were pounding away. Threats and profanities were spewing from her mouth - some of her curse words I still don't understand.
"That's no way for a lady to talk! Shame on you, Jenny!
After the first seven spanks, Samantha stopped kicking. After the first 15 she stopped fighting. She just kind of gave up and laid limply on his lap.
Like a ragdoll.
After 30 she was bawling like a baby.
I lost count after 50. I mean, jeez...
When Clyde was through, he pushed Samantha onto her feet. My bitchy neighbor was crying and howling, rubbing her poor tush through her clothes.
Without her shoes on, Miss Smith was MUCH shorter.
I didn't realize I was taller than her!
"Now Jenny, don't make me blister your scrawny little butt again. Get undressed!"
"Y - yes, sir!"
Whimpering, Samantha removed her jacket and began unbuttoning her blouse. I couldn't believe it!
She then pulled her blouse from her pants and slipped it off. Right in front of me! My eyes almost jumped out their sockets. The legendary Samantha Smith...
Her torso looked so tiny! The big bra hung awkwardly from her body - like her cups had magically been depleted.
I guess in a way, they were!
Next she unzipped her pants and wiggled out of it. She was wearing black, sexy pantyhose beneath. Now, why would a woman wear pantyhose beneath her pants?! I remember thinking that was odd. (I also remember thinking how sleek and shapely those legs looked!) Then her black, sexy pantyhose was stripped from her hips and legs... and instantly, those sleek, shapely legs became thin and pale - like a pair of toothpicks! It was the damndest thing.
I rubbed my eyes and looked twice: My bitchy cunt of a neighbor was now standing in front of me with a tear-streaked face, wearing nothing but a baggy bra and big black panties! And those panties...
I would've expected a stylish woman like Miss Smith to have warn something sexier. Like, maybe a thong. Or even some bikini briefs. But these? These panties were big and bulky. Kind of like a helmet.
Still, no complaints about her ass. Seriously, it looked like it could body-double for a Kardashian: Big, juicy and round... Jeez, it looked nice!! Almost like a perfect circle...
"There! I - I'm almost naked! This has gone on far enough. Please leave now!" she cried.
Her body looked so much smaller! Other than that apple of an ass, her physique was practically girlish! I started to see how a half-blind dope like Cousin Clyde might actually think Miss Smith was masquerading as a little kid!
"Take off that silly bra, Jenny. You know you haven't developed any boobies yet," Clyde ordered.
Samantha turned beet red and looked over at me. "Th - that's not true!! I - I do so have boobies! You know! Tell him!!"
I stared at her body and salivated. I mean, jeez! But I gave her a disappointed look:
"Jenny, being flatchested is nothing to be ashamed of," I sweetly said. "So you still have the body of a little girl. So what? That doesn't excuse you for breaking into the nice neighbor's house."
"Stop it! This - this is MY house!! My name is Samantha Smith, and I DO NOT have the body of a little girl!!"
Good ol' Clyde reached over, and all at once, yanked the bra right over Miss Smith's body! Guess it really was loose and baggy because it came right off. Her arms flew up to grab it, but Cousin Clyde was too fast. I strained to get a look at those titties, but Clyde was in the way...
"Aah!!" shrieked Samantha, immediately clutching her now-naked chest in her arms. She looked at Clyde in disbelief, then turned her back to us, trying to preserve her modesty...
"You DO have the body of a little girl because you ARE a little girl!" Clyde corrected. Then he stared at her panty-clad ass. "Say... what brand underpants are those?"
He turned to me: "Go check. My eyes don't read so good."
"No!!" cried Samantha.
I moved right behind my bitchy cunt of a neighbor. Her naked back... that ass... her scent...
I pulled down the back of her panties - a little further down than I had to. I could see her ass crack...
"Sorry, Cousin Clyde... I don't see a label. But these are weird panties. It's all made out of padding, or something."
"Please!" Samantha begged, "please don't take away my panties! Please!"
"They ain't YOUR panties, Jenny," Clyde retorted.
That's all I needed to hear.
I pulled the panties straight down her legs! Right to the floor! And then I made her step out of them!
There literally wasn't a stitch of clothes left on her body.
Clyde picked up the panties and examined them. "These girly-shorts are the damndest thing. It's stuffed to the gills with padding. Wonder why?"
Looking at Samantha's naked ass for the first time, I knew why. Wow. And I had thought her bra was padded! THIS was something else!
"Clyde, those must be shape-holding panties! You know... for girls who are embarrassed about their butt."
Samantha sobbed loudly.
Her real ass wasn't that tight, delicious circle she was flaunting. No, sir!!
It was small and boney.
Like a little girl.
"Well, shucks then!" Clyde laughed. "If that don't beat all. Shape-holding panties, huh?"
But then he suddenly became stern: "Jenny, turn around this instant!"
The humiliated woman slowly turned to face us. Her arm was covering her chest and her hand was between her legs. Her face was bright red and her eyes burned with hatred. It was almost admirable how hard she was fighting to protect her modesty.
Almost.
"Jenny, these clothes obviously belong to a woman with a serious body image problem, so the poor creature thinks she has to stuff her bra and butt so boys will pay attention to her. Isn't that just sad?"
"Y - yes!" cried Samantha, still resolutely hiding her nudity in her arms. "It's s - sad!"
"That poor woman wants everyone to think she has big boobs and a perfect butt, even though it's not true."
"I know!" she cried. "It - it's not true!"
"I don't want you to be one of dem batshit-crazy girls who have unrealistic body images. Unrealistic body images is where these problems all come from." Clyde paused. "I just a great idea! Jenny, lower your arms!"
"What?!"
"Let's see your body. Don't hide anything. This will cure your insecurities. Trust your old cousin Clyde!"
"Nooooo!!!!!! Please don't make me!" she helplessly cried. "I - I - I'm embarrassed of my body! I don't like how I look! I don't want you to see!"
"Do it - or this time I'll whoop your BARE butt, Jenny!"
There's no way Samantha's slender frame could handle another spanking - and she knew it.
She bowed her head...
...and lowered her arms.
Wow.... just, WOW.
I saw everything. All at once, I saw everything! I mean, jeez!!
Everything!!!
Her spindly legs, skiny tummy, narrow arms. Her pussy was right there! No bush at all! And you could totally see her pussy lips when she stood!
The lack of pubes was the final nail in the coffin: She did indeed look like a little girl.
And her tits... or lack thereof... they were still amazing tits.
Because they were Samantha Smith's tits. See?
These pathetic little nubs were the very same tits she tried to hide behind stuffing - the tits she wanted to fool everyone into believing were big and juggly.
Far from it. She was basically titless.
Those tits. Unmasked once and for all!
Her nipples were small as well. But very, very hard...
"Now repeat after me, Jenny: It's okay to have a little girl body."
"It - it's okay t - to have a l - little girl body!" she cried.
"That's right!" I said, jumping in. I walked over in front of her and smirked. She had a strange look on her face, like she wanted to die on the spot - but kill ME first! I gripped both her nipples. Swear to Jesus! I just reached out and grabbed them. She yelped - but didn't move her arms or budge. I remember how hot and puffy Miss Smith's nipples felt. "There's no need to pad your bra, Jenny. Now, if you were a grown woman and your boobs looked like this, I can understand why you'd be embarrassed. It would mean you still have the tits of a prepubescent girl! But be patient. Give your body a chance to mature."
"Okay," Samantha sobbed. "Thanks for helping me."
I tapped the top of her pussy with my fingers and rubbed the smooth skin. "One day you'll have hair on your 'special area' and be a big girl as well. But there's no need to rush things."
"I sure hope so!" Samantha pathetically cried.
Next, I grabbed her bony little ass and gave it a squeeze. Like it was a basketball! Just out of curiosity, I then spread her butt cheeks. This was SO MUCH better than spying on her! I was getting to explore all her private parts: Her tits, her pussy, now her ass... Miss Smith's bunghole was pink and hairless, by the way. She didn't try to squeeze her cheeks closed either, or clench her ass shut. She let me do what I want - as long as I want. "Lastly, there's absolutely no need to pad your butt so you look like one of those Kardashian girls," I scolded. "That's not what girls your age are supposed to look like. Repeat after me, Jenny - I want you to say this and believe this: I have the body of a little girl, and that's okay!"
"I - I have the body of a little girl... and... and that's okay!" she shamefully wept. She was naked, and her hands were balled into fists. She stomped her foot.
Clyde patted her on the head. "And don't let nobody tell you otherwise! Now get your regular clothes on so we can leave before the neighbor returns home."
Samantha sadly looked at the floor. She really did look like a little kid! She didn't even try to cover herself!
"I - I don't have Jenny's clothes! I've been trying to tell you! My name is Samantha Smith! I just... I just... have a little girl's body!"
Clyde rolled his eyes. "And I thought we beat the sass out of you. Well, if you can't find your clothes, I'm gonna drag your naked butt back to the house! The reunion is just getting good!"
Samantha recoiled in fear. "You - you can't drag me to the middle of your family reunion! Not when I'm naked!"
"Don't be so shy, Jenny. You can jump in the little pool while we grab you a spare swimsuit. Besides, it's just our family there. Well, mostly." Then Clyde turned to me: "We did invite all your neighbors. All except one. Guess one of your neighbors is supposed to be a real snob who always thinks she's hotter than everyone else. Is that true?"
"Yes, Cousin Clyde. I have one neighbor who thinks she's the most beautiful woman on the block. For years she's been strutting around, teasing the local men with her big boobs and round booty. Everyone hates her! In fact, if it turned out that she might be a hotty when dressed - but looked like a pathetic, shapeless kid when naked - it would be the biggest scandal the neighborhood has ever seen! I mean, jeez!"
She knew what I was thinking: "No! Noooo!! NOOOOOO!!!!"
Me and ol' Clyde dragged naked Samantha out of the house. She was begging and crying the whole time! I had one arm, he had the other! And we marched her the LONG way to our house - the way by the street! Cars were honking and Miss Smith was HYSTERICAL!
"Let me go! Let me go! Please! I'll give you anything you want!!! Money!! Anything!! Just don't let anyone see me!!"
"Give it a rest, Jenny!" I snapped.
We picked her up and tossed her in the inflatable kiddie pool.
Splash!!
Everyone turned to look... all my family and all my neighbors. (Well, all my neighbors except one...)
"Hey, we found Jenny," Clyde announced. "She was playing dress-up in the neighbor's house! Can you believe that?!"
"But cousin Clyde... here I am," Jennifer replied. "Me and the doggy came back to the house 15 minutes ago."
Clyde was confused. "Yeah? But in that case, who..."
All eyes went over to the naked girl sitting in the kiddie pool.
One of the neighbors spoke first, "Why, that's Samantha Smith! From next door. And... she's naked!"
Everyone gasped. Time seemed to stop.
"Samantha! Stand up this instance!" I don't know who said it, but the voice was the only thing any of us heard. It sounded like an order.
Samantha stood straight up. Right away. I would've bet a million bucks that she wouldn't. She was so vain about her body, NO WAY she'd show everybody her goodies! I mean, jeez - she stuffed her bra and tried to stuff her ass, right! So I figured for sure she'd try to curl up in a ball and hide herself in her arms. But she didn't. With a shell shocked expression on her face, she stood up tall (well, by her shoeless standards) and kept her arms by her sides. Like a condemned woman trying to be brave at the gallows.
At long last, all the men and all the women got a good, long look at what was hiding under Samantha's clothes.
There was dead silence.
The poor girl closed her eyes, like she was expecting to hear hoots, whistles and lusty stares. But instead:
"Holy cow! THIS is what Samantha Smith really looks like? She has the body of a little kid!"
Laughter.
"She's as flat as a table top!"
Laughter.
"I don't think she's big enough to grow pubic hair yet! How old is she anyway?"
Laughter.
"Ew, you thought this shapeless twig was me?" asked Jennifer. "Gross! My tits are way bigger than hers! She doesn't even need a training bra!"
As the laughter grew and grew, Samantha held her head as high as possible. She looked up, turned her back - and started gracefully walking back to her house.
"Good lord that's a bony ass!" someone shouted.
"Oh, so that's why she was wearing shape-holding panties!" my idiot cousin declared. He was waving around Samantha's secret body-shaping panties!
"Let me see that," said one of the wives, examining the panties. "Fake tits and a fake ass!" The neighbors began passing around her panties so everyone could see them up close!
It was too much:
Samantha Smith burst into loud sobs and sprinted through the yard! But alas, the yard was full of neighbors and family... so she was getting patted, poked and grabbed when she moved. At one point, a group of kids even threw her back in the kiddie pool - like they were playing a game! But she got right back out and ran. But not far: An adult grabbed and put her back with the rest of the little kids. But she kept trying to run.
At one point I overheard Samantha trying to convince my hard-of-hearing Grandpa George that she was a grown-up. Grandpa George patted her butt and sent her back to the kiddie pool. At another point she was trapped in a "friendly" tickle fight with a group of neighbors she'd been feuding with, too. Wasn't much of a fight: The two roommates, Fred and Patricia, held her in their arms and posed her all sorts of ways - on her back, bent over, on her knees, upside down - and tickled her until she was out of breath! Her bright pink body was trembling - and little miss-better-than-everyone-else was panting and wailing like a baby! Then she got back on her feet.
And ran.
Until she was home again.
THE END
