A little something for the female readers (yes, I was surprised to learn we have a few...).
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http://www.thatsembarrassing.com/embarrassing-1086-the-truth-comes-out.htm
I was 22 at the time, and it was summer. I was having trouble picking
up chicks at the time, so I decided to look for some at the beach.
Well, my bathing suit was totally lame, so I decided to get a new one. I
went to a small shop, and found all the normal ones, next to the
Speedos. I was looking through the normal ones, but none looked too
cool, and then just for fun I began looking through the Speedos. I
would never wear a Speedo, as I don't have too much to brag about down
there (maybe 2 inches). However, in the back, I saw that they were
selling 'padding' - you stuff it inside your Speedo to make your bulge
seem bigger ('for modest sized men' the label said). I thought 'hey,
this will be a great way to pick up chicks! I'll make them think I'm
huge!' so I bought a whole bunch of the stuff. So I went to the beach,
with what looked like a massive bulge. Immediately, beautiful women
began swarming around me - it was great. In my glory, I decided to show
off a little more by going swimming - getting myself wet. However when
I emerged from the water, the women all had strange looks on their
faces. 'What's this?' one of them said. All my padding was sticking
out! I turned bright read and began to get an erection (I don't know
why). One of the hot women then began to pull all the padding out of my
Speedo, and in doing this, she caught a glimpse of my tiny shrunken
penis. 'Oh my!' she exclaimed. Taking the padding in her hands and
waiving it in front of all the other women, saying 'Its padding! He's
the tiniest guy I ever saw!' Everyone began to laugh, and taking up my
last ounce of pride, I firmly demanded my pads back. 'Oh do you?' she
asked. I then made a motion to snatch it out of her hands, and while I
was doing so, one of the girls came from behind and pulled down my
Speedo, exposing me to everyone there. I was so overwhelmed, I
literally fainted. I woke up hours later in the lifeguard station,
wearing nothing but a life guard towel. The life guard, who was an
attractive woman, was chatting and giggling with her colleague. When
she saw that I had awaken she walked over, with a huge grin on her face,
and handed me my pads and Speedo. She then informed me that I was no
longer welcome at that beach. The moral of the story is, don't lie
about your size, because sooner or later, the truth will come out.
