A Collection of Poems.

 A girl who barely had tits,
Got by by just using her wits.
The bras she had gotten,
She filled up with cotton
And for nipples, she used cherry pits.
--- Sylvia Honig

"Are those bountiful mammaries real?"
"Of course," she said, "Give them a feel!"
He did and discovered
Each titty was blubbered
With five pound of ground beef and veal!
--- Writerman

A penniless co-ed named Horning
Was forced into video porning.
Her promotion -- while bare --
Of her silicone ware
Soon earned her a grant from Dow Corning.
--- Alex Heydon P0409

A large-breasted girl danced the waltz,
While I sat and enjoyed several malts.
My eyes were a-popping,
Till her boobs started dropping;
It turns out her large breasts were false.
--- Travis Brasell

A myopic, but amorous rake
Found his paramour's bodice was fake.
He peered at her face,
Then exclaimed, "In that case,
I have made a most dreadful mistake."
--- Beelzebub

Whilst swimming at length in the lake,
The English girl cried "Heavens sake!
I've lost my swimsuit!
It's coiled round my foot!
They'll all see that my tits are fake!"
--- Jim Weaver Collection

A young girl who barely had tits,
Just nipples no bigger than zits,
Got really flat-busted
'Cause the falsies she trusted,
Fell out, and then she had fits.
--- Sylvia Honig

Now look here, I'm a reasonable chap;
I'd have sat through a weeks' worth of yap,
Just to feel those tits...ahhhhh.
But when I undid her bra,
Her big boobs fell off in my lap!
--- Anon

A stripper with fiberglass tits
Said, "The sure addle customer's wits,
But I needed a pair
For the pair I had there
Were nothing but itty tit bits.
--- Grand Prix Lim 362 P9801

There was a young lady of Skye,
With a shape like a capital "I".
She said, "It's too bad!
But then, I can pad,"
Which shows you that figures can lie.
--- Ethel W Mumford P8311

In grandmother's day, in the waltz,
You could tell if girls' bosoms were false.
Nowadays top and bottom
Are padded with cotton,
With foam-rubber falsies for faults.
--- G2230

There was a young lady of Lynn,
Who was nothing but bones except skin.
So she wore a false bust,
In the likewise false trust
That she looked like a lady of sin.
--- W S Baring-Gold

Of his lady, he was quite enchanted;
Of her good points, he frequently ranted.
But of many God's gifts,
Were her wonderful tits,
But really, they were only implanted.
--- Anon

The boobs on Mae Blount were a sight,
And the way they stuck out was a fright.
All the boys said, "Ho, Ho!
But the boys didn't know
She put her tits in the drawer at night.
--- Clarence E Boyle P8807 a

Leanne hadn't driven too far,
When her bosoms popped out of her bra.
They wobbled, pulsated;
Then Whoosh! they inflated,
Like air-bags inside of her car.
--- Anon

I once met a woman abroad,
Who had a magnificent bod.
But her perfect chest
Left me quite distressed
When I learned it was just a facade.
--- Observer

I was bored with the size of my tits,
So I thought I'd just add a few bits.
Though they're bigger, it's true,
And my nipples turned blue,
They sure take your mind off my zits.
--- Roberta J Stewart

Let's celebrate the day of your breasts,
On which my drooling face can rest.
As I admire your two nipples,
Just pass me the Ripple,
To toast the "A" to "C" cup, no less.
--- Child of the Universe

While I, with my usual enthusiasm,
Was exploring in Ermintrude's busiasm,
She explained, "They are flat,
But think nothing of that--
You will find that my sweet sister Susiasm.
--- L0159

So small is her bosom, Miss Morgan,
When using her mid-body organ,
With naught there for pawing,
Will let them start gnawing
Her falsie constructed of sorghum.
--- Irving Superior P8303

It grieved poor Matilda like heck to be
Receiving a double mastectomy.
She fitted a pair
Of wood tits so rare,
But for woodworm, she has to inspectomy.
--- Anon

There was a young lady named Cilla,
Who thought that nothing would fill 'er;
To make herself plumper,
She stuffed up her jumper
Two melons wrapped up in a pillow.
--- Anon

Do you know why Joe seems so furious?
He'd been treated in a manner injurious.
He was set for a lark
With a girl in the dark,
And then found her breastworks were spurious.
--- Isaac Asimov

Today's women are close to perfection;
Some claim there's a Darwin connection.
Bosom volume increased
Two sizes at least;
It's prosthetics, not natural selection.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0508

Oh! The truth makes us titwatchers groan,
For that lush-breasted gal in Athlone,
Whose bust looked unmatchable
But both proved detatchable;
The dear had no teats of her own.
--- G0349

The falsies that once enhanced Hester
Were swiped by a midnight molester.
"Where they are," we wonder
And their loss has stunned her,
For our Hester is now a flat-chester...
--- Grand Prix Lim 897

She padded her expenses without fear;
Her boss cared not; he liked her near.
'Till one night by chance
While seeking romance,
He found she did the same to her brassiere
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0209

There was a young woman named Frances,
Who decided to better her chances,
By cleverly adding
Appropriate padding,
To enlarge all her protuberances.
--- Isaac Asimov

One gal that I knew felt bereft,
When her massive tits with much heft,
Fell down to the floor,
Then rolled out the door,
And she with a flat chest was left.
--- Anon

There was a young lady named Clair,
Who possessed a magnificent pair.
Or that's what I thought,
'Til I saw one get caught,
On a thorn and begin losing air.
--- Playboy Mag J F O'ConnerA

While snorkeling under the seas,
I spotted what seemed to be knees
With nipples. But lo;
It was only young Jo-
sephine's silicone 44 D's.
...detached from the front of her chest
And bouncing around on the crest
Of the waves in the ocean,
In vertical motion...
No wonder she looked so depressed.
--- Peter Wilkins

There once was a sailor named Rock
Who was fooled by a girl on the dock.
She misled the old tar
With socks in her bra,
But he had a sock in his jock.
--- Arnie Schoenbrun P0209

A pert little lady, Leoni,
Had tits so incredibly phony,
If she jiggled too often,
They started to soften,
Like two scoops of fresh mascarpone.
--- Mr E

The neighbor, a flirt name of Burt,
Called out, "Hey, Babe! Your boobs are pert!"
She flipped him the bird
And said, "Ain't you heard?
There's falsies stuffed under my shirt!"
--- Anon

A pimple-tit floosie from Groton
Stuffed both of her boobies with cotton;
Quite awesome at first,
Until the cloth burst:
The silk in her bra was plumb rotten.
--- Armand Singer

 This story concerns Mrs. Schmaltz,
Who shouldn't twirl fast in a waltz.
Whenever she does,
The room's soon abuzz;
Her titties pull loose, 'cause they're false.
--- Armand E Singer 760

I once imbibed milk at O'Fallon's
Bordello from whores whose long talons
Would puncture the plugs
Upon their huge jugs,
And out flooded milk by the gallons!
--- Anon